The End Of Isolation
The UK international Christian churches proudly present our first women’s editorial. Like our sister churches we aim to publish articles for women regularly. Our first article is by Deirdre Morgan of the International Christian Church of Northern Ireland.
The end of Isolation
I am a disciple that has been living in an isolated situation for about four years. I was baptised 13 and a half years ago and moved to Northern Ireland 5 years ago to be in the same church as my boyfriend. We married in 2002 and less than a year later the church Worldwide went through ‘the changes’ or ‘the great tribulation’. Living in Belfast, the full intensity of the dramatic change that the UK went through was not immediately felt by my husband and I. For us as a married couple, the biggest challenge at the time was our living situation – we were in a hostel and were unable to find a council tenancy in Belfast (it was all we could afford being on benefits). We considered a number of options – my husband wanted at that time to move to a city which was very much on his heart: Londonderry/Derry Northern Ireland’s second city and see it evangelised. I was reluctant to leave the disciples in Belfast, as I wanted to get vital help and teaching to help my fledgling marriage – yet already the relationships were becoming more ‘loose’ as discipling was a principle that was not being held tightly to as previous. After some months of a fruitless wait for a home in Belfast, we applied for a house in this isolated city (over 70 miles from Belfast in the NW tip of Northern Ireland).
A place was found within two weeks of application! Answered prayer! We moved and lived in that rundown council estate for nearly three years visiting a mainline congregation for several months. During this period I mostly worked doing shifts – nights and weekends at unsociable hours. My husband kept house and did ministry work having people visit, doing some evangelism and set up a house church (3 members in total when another brother joined us after about 9 months upon his return from a trip to the States). From 2003 until this present time I have been for the most part, the only sister in my congregation.
I definitely felt isolated at that time – no sisters within reasonable travelling distance and few visits to Belfast ICOC due to the distance and my unsociable hours. Phone conversations were not the same as face-to-face interaction. Some sisters came and visited from Belfast and I had visitors from churches in England. More often than not two months could go by with me not seeing any sisters.
There were low periods – I remember having to cling tightly to God yet at times in deep despair at how lonely life had become I cried out to God feeling he was not there or not listening. After about a year and a half I was given some support by another sister who was also living in a similar situation to me who I would telephone. I would also ring a friend living in England for advice and support – I felt I was holding onto a thread of faith at times and – as I suffer from mental health issues – an even thinner thread of sanity!
Some hurt was felt when I rang sisters and poured out my heart and mainly these conversations were not followed up on i.e. sisters did not ring back to check I was ok – not as it had been when people were devoted to each other (Acts 2 v 42-48). Secular counselling insists on follow up, a fact I’m well aware of, since I saw a therapist and know of others who have seen counsellors. I was being very vulnerable with people and the fact that they did not check with me afterwards made me feel they were insincere. They would want to know my inner secrets when I spoke to them, yet did not seem to have the time and / or want the burden of commitment of helping me in the long run. It definitely made me, on the one hand want to draw my heart back from people and not share my honest feelings and on the other hand, made me realise that I myself was not following up on others in similar situations either (Gal 6 v 10, Heb 3 v 12-13).
At times I thought about giving up on God – more often on church – I considered going to another denomination nearer to home. Yet somehow I knew that churches not holding to Acts 2 v 38 would be a poor substitute for being in a church with the right doctrine – in fact I knew that any church that does not hold to this crucial teaching on salvation would be no substitute (for me to attend/be part of a church that does not hold to Acts 2 v 38 would be in direct contradiction of the bible – the only conversion stories we are given in the New Testament show repentance plus a water baptism as the point of salvation). I feel that I might as well be cold as lukewarm – I think God wants us one way or the other (Rev 3 v 23). So I learned that my isolation – though a sufferance – brought with it a choice to be with God or without God.
Twenty-first century communications have been a part of my discipleship since my baptism. Phone calls with many women have really helped me in the past especially where face to face meeting is not practical. These telephone conversations make me reflect on my convictions as I hear their convictions and share mine. Whatever we talk about I try to ‘hear the bible’ in what they are saying. Some convictions I hear (more so these days) do not contain ‘bible’ and are more about feelings and reactions to hurtful things that have happened to people in the past in the church. Though the feelings are real I must try to point out that they can not supersede our obedience to Christ – i.e. if we don’t obey Jesus we don’t love God (John 14 v 23). Biblical examples / models like Acts 8 v 4 and 15 v 35 are being challenged at the moment by some friends I talk to who say that ‘not all disciples need to evangelise’ – despite these passages citing the fact of disciples sharing their faith who were not apostles. Some sisters I talk to forget Matthew 28 v 18-21 where Jesus says we must obey all the commands that he gave the apostles – i.e. being mission focussed (for people who are into commentaries read ‘The master plan of discipleship’ Coleman – non ICC member!). I know other sisters whose ICCM (UK ICOC) ministers don’t even believe baptism is when we are saved.
In my isolation – at the moment I’m the only sister in my congregation of 6 members – I still believe that the only model is a New Testament biblical one (2 Pet 1 v 3, 2 Tim 3 v 16-17). My church don’t believe in well meaning ecumenical models or secular counselling models or lukewarm philosophies (I’m trying to revive at the moment). I think the only choice is to be fully committed or don’t bother (Rev 3 v 23). To get back into a right relationship with God simply put means: Confession (Matt 7 v 3-5, Mk 11 v 25) and repentance (Heb 6 v 11-12, Rev 2 v 5, 2 Cor 7 v 9-10); in some cases, conflict resolution (Matt 18 v 15-17).
Our period of being ‘disconnected’ (which I would say roughly was 3 years) proved to me that despite our efforts, what we were lacking was a network of committed relationships that would help keep us strong in the Lord – Eph 4 v 16 makes reference to how relationships in the Lord build us up spiritually. As I am the only woman in my present church what has been of enormous help is developing relationships with women in the same situation as me – wanting to get committed (Luke 14 v 33) yet feeling very isolated even while doing so. Since December 2005 the committed relationships I have gained through our reunification with the international church have changed my life. The scriptures are frequently referenced for guidance in my conversations with sisters from the U.S., Stockholm, Toronto, and closer to home in England. Over time these relationships have become a vital and encouraging part of my life. The spiritual help that I have received from the women in these places has helped me persevere more in these last 9 months (since my revival) than I ever did in the 3 years in the ‘wilderness’. There is a feeling of being able to ring if necessary at any hour of the day if I needed the help. There is a feeling that things aren’t just ‘left’ – that people really take what I’m saying seriously and are listening, comforting, and yes taking account (Phil 4 v 3) as I strive to do the same with them.
How did I get to have these relationships? As I mentioned before our ministry of 3 in Londonderry/Derry was trying in its own way to evangelise the surrounding region – whilst some relationships were built and some evangelism took place we became acutely aware over time that, without training and help we were ineffective in our ministry. We needed a network of relationships that could only be supplied effectively another church (1 Thess 3 v 10). An incident in the UK highlighted this issue further for us when a close friend of my husbands his spiritual ‘grandson’ (the personal fruit of a brother that James had baptised) brought his non-Christian girlfriend to church. It turned out that she was asking him every couple of days to sleep with her – a fact that even people in that same congregation were not aware of. It spring-boarded my husband into action. He contacted leaders in that congregation who did eventually act but it showed us how far congregations had slipped (this is not an isolated event). It showed us that the convictions of individuals and even whole congregations were sadly in decay.
This event sparked our contact with the Portland church. Shortly afterwards we asked Kip McKean to find us people who could ‘teach us to obey Christ’ in our marriage. Within the same week, Kip had Marcia and Bob Bertalot, one of the Elders and his wife (in Portland) contact us and listen to our tales of woe (despite an 8 hour time difference!). We quickly came into contact with Anu and Argo in Sweden who with their 10 year ministry experience and deep concern were able to give us sound biblical advice and direction and would listen to us at any time of day if we needed. Anu has impressed me immensely with her knowledge and application of the scriptures and this has helped me so much. Tim and Lianne Kernan in Toronto were a couple we soon hooked up with from this new network of relationships. They took personal responsibility for helping us in ministry and marriage. We visited the Kernans recently for a week, and were able to benefit from no less than 3 marriage counselling times! We also saw a very biblical model of sacrifice from them as they opened their home to the disciples each day (and also their fridge!). They joyfully sacrificed their time and energies loving people as much as possible. Lianne has helped me so much through her incredible listening skills – a thoroughly biblical example (Prov 18 v 13).
The network of relationships has come from far away places and this is where I want to state some of my convictions that have stemmed from all these events over the last four years. There is a need for an international leadership for us women. I don’t think this is just for individuals, but also for the ministries in our congregations. Even they can be isolated and need outside help. The New Testament shows examples of congregations being open and receiving help and direction from outside. Relationships were developed outside the congregation and teaching was going on in the spirit of Matt 28: ‘Teach them to obey everything’ one on one and in groups.
The UK sisters together with those all around the world, are again seeing our absolute need to mature and to grow and submit to the help of others as this takes place. Acts 20 v 1-6 shows Paul with a group of brothers from different places that are unified with each other. Acts 15 at the council of Jerusalem shows ‘disciples Worldwide’ unified with each other. Peter in his letters shows that he was unified with Paul. Biblically Peter took responsibility for the Jews Paul to the Gentiles but there was a humility that went with that. Peter knew that Paul’s letters were being circulated to his sphere of influence – he welcomed that (2 Pet 3 v 16). 1 Cor 1 v 2 makes clear that Paul was not just addressing the Corinthian church but churches everywhere – this would have included Peter’s sphere of influence. No-where is seen the independent attitude of autonomy – disciples living in isolation from each other and not being in touch with each other and helping one another stay strong in other places. In the smaller congregations it is incredible to me how people who need help and cannot get it from their immediate church do not go outside for help – their ceiling of help is the faith of the leader who cannot help them at times.
Here is where I end and hope that my experiences and convictions help you whether you feel isolated or are isolated. In my experience autonomy doesn’t work.
Love in Christ, Deirdre
